A blog by Jorge Garcia.

Monday, February 25, 2008


So we had a lot of rain yesterday and last night. And then in the morning I went outside and noticed some grass sprouting up in the middle of my "patch."
But on closer inspections it looks suspiciously like the grass that grows around the patch. 
Especially because there are clearly more than one type of grass in it. 
So I've decided to re-spread. 
Not because of my belief in the product but because I still have half a bag left and might as well use it. 
For those of you who are already bored to tears with my blogs about "grass growing," here's a picture of my dog chewing on my pant leg:

Rough night

Well I'll let her tell you about it.

"Three spankings in about 20 minutes time (two over the SAME thing) and several "instructions" on other things... led me to say, "that's it Jorge.. you are going to bed."


Okay actually that is something that popped up in my google alert. Often strange things involving Jorge Garcia's pop up on my alert. 

Like this:
"As part of the search, investigators stopped Jorge Garcia... because he resembled the description of the perpetrator. "

"It's not about wins and losses. (Trainer) Jorge Garcia said it best to me. He said it's about pride and proving to the paying public you have some. I think Jorge Garcia is right."

That's 'cause we are. :)

Sunday, February 24, 2008

It's Twins!

Well they don't look anything like each other. 

So I guess they're fraternal. This one's the shy one. She just refuses to be in focus. 
They are so young but they're already rebelling. I mean I planted each of them in the middle of their little plots and look where they're sprouting:
Ahh kids. 

Friday, February 22, 2008

Remember when I spread it...

And forgot it? Forgetted it? Sprod it and forgot it? 
Oh well it's only been a week and LOOK AT THIS: 
...and this is how my "patch" looks: 
Technically it looks less green for the moment because the seeds had little blue/green stuff around them when they were first spread. But we'll see what happens next week.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

If you want it done right

Get a professional to do it. 
Here is a picture I took of me behind bars from an earlier blog. 
Here's the final version that was in my blog:

 I just wanted to show you MY version. See? When a guy who knows what he's doing does it, it kicks my homemade version's butt.  (Thank you Dave at mascots2go.com.)

We're pregnant!

That's right I have planted my seed(s). 

They are all right here in this little makeshift green house. 
I hope they grow. If they sprout into plants I'll move them into one of my pots and add them to the potted herb garden I'm growing. I got all inspired because I've been watching "Jamie at Home" on the Food Network. (Might be developing a man-crush on Jamie Oliver by the way.) So I've bought all kinds of plants to have fresh for cooking. I have some tomatoes, bell peppers and chili peppers and a variety of herbs. The seeds are basically salad greens and spinach. Keep your fingers crossed. 
I'm not thrilled growing a garden in pots but I'm renting my place and I want to be able to move them around. 
So did I get your hopes up with that headline? Thought it was going to be a much more exciting blog didn't you. 

Monday, February 18, 2008

Whew that was creepy

Now I like to be available to fans. I mean I almost never say "no" to a picture request.
-Except if I'm in the middle of dinner at a restaurant.
-Or if I've already caught you taking my picture without asking.

I try to keep up with this blog as well as check TheFuselage.com regularly to answer direct questions posted there by fans. 
I answer all of my own fan mail.
I love my fans and I do feel a sense of dedication to them. 

But something happened today that kinda got me on edge. 
Two people came up to my door. And introduced themselves as fans and asked if they could get a picture with me. (Actually they asked for "Hugo.")
Now am I wrong to think that this crossed the line? I mean if I can't have privacy at home what do I have left? I live in a simple house. I like it. I don't want to feel like I need to up my security. But people coming to my door and trying to peek through my windows (yes that's right peek through my windows) has made me nervous. 
I don't want to put up gates and bars. It would make me feel like a prisoner in my own home. 
But what made them think that this was something I'd be cool with? 

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Foots pads again

Well it's been a week and I don't see any change in my toxicity. I also don't feel any different than I did a week ago. But man you should see the stuff that's come out of my colon! (Just kidding. That's not how these are supposed to work.) What makes it worse that these things don't appear to do anything but stink, is that it all seems like an elaborate practical joke. 

Have you ever used one of those awful glue traps to catch rats or mice? And have you ever accidentally stepped or put your hand in it? Well that's how sticky the pad that's supposed to glue the "magic" pad to your foot is. So every morning after removing the pads to see nothing special you have to wash the bottoms of your feet. And you better do it right away too. I made the mistake of taking the dog out to pee in between and ended up sticking to my sandals. (They would flip but refused to flop.) And did I mention this stuff stinks?

I'm going to finish this package and give a final report once I do. But it's looking like if you want to get rid of Thorium you're going to have to do it the old fashioned way, scoop it out with a wooden spoon. AND QUIT EATING THORIUM!

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Consumer advocacy part II

Also as part of my testing as seen on TV products so you won't have to I have decided to "spread it and forget it."
As you can see I have this cleared area. Well kinda cleared, there are a few random roots in there. I have "spread it" and I'm now in the process of "forgetting it" but they do say keep it damp for two weeks so I don't know what it is about "forgetting it" they don't understand. 
But according to them they can grow grass on a cinder block. I'll let you know. 

(Speaking of cinder blocks, I once went to a hardware store here looking for some to "quick fix" a bed frame and the employees had no idea what I was talking about. They had them. They had a ton of them (at least a ton) sitting right there but they didn't know that that is what they were called. They called them  "hollow concrete blocks" or something like that. Man it was frustrating. Just thought I'd share.)

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Too natural for my own good

So I'm tryin' to do the natural thing. Watching what I put into my body. I'm buying organic whenever I can and I try to buy local as well. I just saw the documentary King Corn which I found pretty disturbing too. I threw away a bunch on stuff in my cupboard that had the high fructose corn syrup in it. I started looking for only grass fed beef. 

But I think I need to go mass market for my cottage cheese. I bought a natural cultured cottage cheese and could not down two spoonfuls. I downed the first one and then I had to try the second one to make sure it was really as awful as it seemed. Frankly it tasted spoiled. Which is not easy to determine since cottage cheese is essential spoiled already. This is a man's cottage cheese. And by "man" I mean a big hearty Swede with a long white Moses beard living off of cottage cheese and muesli. 

I am sad to say I am not that man. 

Monday, February 11, 2008

If you think that is gross...

Tooling around the internet looking for stuff on the foot pads I found this page.

Wow! Am I to believe that this stuff came out of that woman's bowels? It looks like one of those frozen mummies.
Does she chew her food or swallow it whole? Is that cauliflower?

Do you think her friend had to request to be taken out of the picture? Probably because people thought it was HER'S?

Do you think her claim to be from Dalas, Texas [sic] was intentional so she'd be harder to track down?

Is my body like a tree with roots in the ground?

Can I detox my body through my feet?

These questions and more will be answered soon.

I am your guinea pig and I will be trying out these new foot pads that claim to detox your body of all kinds of... toxins (I guess) including not only Thorium but Thallium as well!

So far they seem to have only made my feet feel sticky in the morning.

Here are the pads from day one:

Pretty gross looking. The smell is strong on this stuff too. SO basically I'm looking to see this pad improve as the days go by. I guess we'll just wait and see.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

My Current Obsession

At last, Advance Wars is back on my DS. Hands down this series is my favorite game on ANY platform.

The new game is called "Days of Ruin" and it is great. I play it every night at bed time and it keeps me up or I sometimes fall asleep on my DS system. I'm so caught up in the game that when I do wake up, in a daze with my game on, I fight to stay awake enough to finish the battle at hand before turning the game off. I play it on the toilet. I play it after showering while my hair dries. I'm rushing to write this blog because I'm about to play it some more.

My complaint about this new version is they tried to make it more serious and dark. Part of the fun of playing war on this game was the cartoon-like soldiers with their big round heads and eyes. See how cute they are? How fun is it to see them get blown away?

The soldiers in the new version are more "realistic" I guess. AND THEY HAVE NO FACES WHATSOEVER!!!!

I just think that sucks. I mean I'm still obsessed, but this new "grown up" version of Advance Wars just takes itself too seriously. Not only that, the main character constantly makes anti-war statements. What's that about? You create this game with WAR in the title. The whole premise is WAR.

See this is a great example of one of the ways the new batch of more serious characters just come across as pretentious. All this does is make the oodles of written dialogue that much more annoying to sit through to get to the next fight.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Thank you

The out-pouring of accollades and excitement from the premiere has been incredible. Thank you all for your kind words.


Upon returning from Milwaukee I discovered I had gained eight pounds there.

My first day back I downed a lot of greens. Because when I began to think about it, I realized that the only green vegetables I ate on my trip were the pickles that were placed on the sides of my plates. It's not that I avoided them. I just don't remember seeing anyone with a salad.

I don't want to sound gross (Who am I kidding?) but by the next morning I had "dropped" four pounds.