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Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Ew!

I found a dead bird in the yard this morning. It reminded me that the week before I found a dead rat on the lawn. I get the feeling that the neighbors cat watches LOST. Why else would it be trying to impress me?

The scariest part about picking up a dead animal is NOT the hand you're picking it up with.
It's the hand holding the grocery bag. For one thing you know you'll have a glove on the picking up hand, but not necessarily the bag hand. 

Furthermore, once rigor mortis sets in, the bird is frozen in the odd shape he was left in. And that shape does not smoothly go into the plastic bag you are holding with one hand. Even if you're wearing a glove on that hand (which I believe most don't, after all these are times of conservation).  Your forearm is totally at risk.

And after disposing of the animal, gloved or not, you still wash both of your hands clear to the elbow. 

Well I do anyway. 

(I was going to take a picture of it. But I thought it best not to. But I was also able to clear some mushrooms, and pick up Nunu's poop all with the same bag. Talk about "two birds." [That was awful.])

20 comments:

Ali said...

best pun ever

Beki said...

and look how you conserved plastic grocery bags by getting "two birds", we all must do what we can!! :-)

Tiffany Noélli said...

É a primeira vez que leio um Post seu mais sério... Você sabe se expressar bem em todos os momentos! Beijos de sua fã do Brazil...

bertas said...

Oh I tell you I'm tired of collecting dog's poop.
And for some reason my little madam always and I mean always has to go in the middle of the street. Not on the side but right in the middle.

Bloody show off :)

And regarding the previous post, love the pumpkins :)

Stacy said...

WONDERFULLY awful!
You got a chuckle from me!

insaknitty said...

how about actually picking it up with the bag? like put the bag over your hand and then pick up the dead thing and use your free hand to wrap the bag around it. does that make sense? :P

Honeybell said...

This is why I got married. But I don't think that works for boys, sorry.

Terry said...

I was going to give you the same advice as insaknitty. I've done that before.

Doesn't help on the hand washing, but at least you're pretty sure you wont actually touch it

bethany james leigh shady said...

ew! okay, i know i'm sick and have been sleeping pretty much all day, but i can't believe you haven't told me about this yet and that i had to go on your blog to read it!

at least the dead animals in our yard are getting less gross i guess. although i think a dead bird is a really bad omen.

Jodi said...

ROTFL @ "two birds". Jorge that was hysterical.

I am so with you on the whole plastic bag theory. Blech!

lostinphilly said...

I know what you mean about the stiff, dead animals. Had to pick up a dead squirrel from my front lawn and it felt like it weighed a ton! Ew-wwwww! By the way, my son wants to know if it was the "Hurleybird"!! Awesome pumpkins from your other post,nice to see Josh and Michael there. Peace!

DanishGirl said...

I often have to pick up dead birds and mice from my garden - left by my cat to impress me... Im not impressed though, we had a mouse in the house for two weeks and the cat didnt catch that one..... my trap finally did the work a few days ago.

Treblem said...

Rather then use a glove, I take and empty bag and put it on over my hand. (Using the bag as a glove.) I pick up the offending material with the bagged hand. Then I slide my other hand into the bag as well and pull the bag over the offending material until the bag is inside out and completely surrounding the offending material. No extra gloves needed, no danger to forearms... Though I often still wash my hands if the offending material is particularly offensive.

redelf said...

We have found several dead birds in our yard recently. We finally figured out it was our Dachshund Barnabas who has been leaping into the air and snagging them.

So now image being licked by the tongue of the dog that touched the dead bird...EEEEWWWWWW!!!!!

Laura Caçoeiro said...

Well, a bird I was able to catch. Now if was a mouse,I run , even if he is dead. I have a phobia of these animals carriers of disease.

Pam said...

I have a cat who loves to share her, uh, "trophies". No hands involved - ever. That's what I keep a shovel for. Cuts down on the ick factor considerably! ;o) Have a good one, people.

Sam G said...

WOW! look at all those pumpkin guts...eeewwwww!

James Hernandez said...

Jorge,

Lets not see that pun in jack-o-lantern form any time soon! :)

Crank said...

Living the glamorous life, eh?

chrissy scartissue said...

holaaa!!!happy halloweennn!!!:p jorgeee que tal!!:) Iam cristina and y te ví en london film and comiccon..^^ me gustaría verte en lockdown2..!!!:) and where is you myspace... :S ?¿^^