Welcome to Jorge's House of Death.
Sometimes geckos are at the wrong place at the wrong time.
I know this because a few door frames at this house are decorated with their skeletons.
I always found these things more fascinating than gross because their corpses were already very dry and crispy so I knew it must have happened a long time ago, before we even lived here.
Then I found this guy.
Aw man. A freshy. That means it was us.
C'mon geckos!
How many of you have to die before you realize a door is not a place to hang out?
So cleanup is going to require my favorite tool for picking up the gross.
First attempt resulted in removing just his tail.
Sorry dude.
Try again. Easy does it.
I literally had to peel it off.
There we go.
Done.
And then I threw him on the roof.
Jorge, I have been reading your blog for quite a while, and this is the grossest thing ever. (Plus I am reading while eating my lunch.) Please, no more dead critters. Thanks :o)
ReplyDeleteCalling all Peta Pet lovers everywhere. Jorge you make me laugh - It's definitely a guy thing.
ReplyDeleteI get anoles and tree frogs in my office all the time. When I find them alive, I do my best to shoo them out. There's no water or food in here, I don't know why they insist on coming inside.
ReplyDeleteI hate finding them crispy and dried up. I'd rather chase live than touch "lizard jerky."
Ew! The Freshies are sick but the old ones are kind of neat! Some creepy artist could set up some scenes with their skeletons. Gecko skeletons at tea time, for example.
ReplyDeleteJorge's House Of Death...... ha ha ha ha ha!
ReplyDeleteI find dead lizard's from time to time here,too (I'm in Florida). Of course, I don't have a giant claw to remove them or post pics of them on my blog. Ha ha ha ha! You are too funny.
The gecko isn't that bad, but if you start killing ducks, cavemen, or Dennis Haysbert with you door, I think that will be a cause for concern.
ReplyDeleteEwwwwwww......Aughhhhhh!!!!!!!! Gahhhhhhhhh
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure which is more disgusting: the tail coming off a dead gecko or a live one. EW. I tried to catch a gecko while studying abroad in Kenya and his writhing tail came off in my hand, but I believe this is more gag-worthy because you had to deal with his other smashed, squidgy bits!!
ReplyDeleteWe have a discoloration on our front porch in the shape of a gecko. I assume that he was stepped on and someone's shoe carried him away. It's actually cool in a really weird way - looks like a crime scene (the outline of a body), except that it's filled in. It's been there over a year...
ReplyDeleteI just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I would not be able to handle that. Seriously. I would move. And mark down the house by a good 10 grand just so I could sell the darn thing.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about your gecko, but I am glad I am not alone. I felt so bad when I found a flatened salamander on the side of my door. He was as flat as a pancake and I had to remove him with a putty knife. Poor guy.
ReplyDeleteThe same thing happens in my house. I just found a poor baby gecko smashed in the seal of my freezer door. They must like hiding in door cracks. The other hazardous door is my front door. Get about one every other month there...
ReplyDeleteI feel bad cuz they are great bug catchers! And pretty cute too! Here in Hawaii it is considered good luck to have one in the house.
Aww, poor little guys. I'll be sure to watch my door slamming when I come to Oahu on vacation in January!
ReplyDeleteI'm just wondering why you threw it up on the roof?
ReplyDeleteYuck!!! We have them here in North Texas as well. :)
ReplyDeleteDon't you just love ivingin paradise? You are going to miss this place when LOST is pau.
ReplyDeleteDon't you just love ivingin paradise? You are going to miss this place when LOST is pau.
ReplyDeleteAwww. I wish we had geckos here.
ReplyDeleteOccasionally I have a frog or salamander fall into the pool. They can't get out and eventually get trapped in the skimmer. On a lucky day I'm there in time to save them. Those are good days.
My son loves reading your blog, but I won't show him this post... he won't even let me kill bugs in the house, let alone seeing that carnage! LOL
ReplyDeletebest line before i barfed...
ReplyDeleteC'mon geckos!
How many of you have to die before you realize a door is not a place to hang out?
love it.
good day. i said good day!
"A freshie." LOL
ReplyDeleteOh, that's so sad...And gross at the same time. Poor little geckos.
ReplyDeleteGah! I hate those things. They are ALL OVER down here in Louisiana. My cats love them though.
ReplyDeleteJorge,
ReplyDeleteI think that last guy was the Gecko from the Geico commercials. Ha he tried to enroll one too many customers!
Okay, the freshy thing made me laugh, but that is seriously gross!
ReplyDeletelol Oh my word.
ReplyDeleteI must have ghoulish tastes because I found the skeletons intriguing. And what do people expect you to do with the "freshie?" You had to get rid of it and I thought your method was ingenious.
ReplyDeleteAwwwwe poor things.
ReplyDelete:( I was in my garage one day when I turned around and stepped on one *Squish* I was so upset. We get some pretty ones around here.
((((HUGS)))) all
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ReplyDeleteI hate geckos. Not as in I want to kill them more as in they creep me out. They freaked me out the whole time I was in Hawaii.
ReplyDeleteThere's a treefrog in my composting toilet
ReplyDeleteIf more geckoes read your blog ...
ReplyDeleteActually that would be weird...
This post title should read "Not to be read if you are a woman who has morning sickness."
ReplyDeleteMy poor stomach. :)
Beyond sick.
ReplyDeleteGross Jorge...Just gross. Blah! LOL
ReplyDeleteaawwwwwww! poor little guy :(
ReplyDeleteI found a complete ecosketeton of a gekko out in the texas sun..sent it to my friend in virginia's little boy who can't wait to take it to show and tell as 'what happens if you stay to long in the texas sun'...gekko's aren't really very smart..
ReplyDeleteYeah, same in South Florida, Mr Garcia. But i gotta tell you, they don't bite... even after they are dead.
ReplyDeleteU're awesome, i like so much you blog, i reed you, good luck "Hurley" jaja
ReplyDeleteIn college I lived in a suite that didn't get thoroughly cleaned too often..but when we finally lifted the rug in our common room there was a squished lizard underneath that had been there for who knows how long. I was sad, I would have saved it.
ReplyDeleteJorgeeeeeeeeee "the gecko killer" :)
ReplyDeleteHi from Argentina :D
:D
Sorry Jorge
ReplyDeleteNOT FUNNY
YUCK
Pen2
That's gross, i just tasted my dinner again.
ReplyDeleteoh Jorge... :)
ReplyDeleteThis is the funniest thing I've read all day!
:D
We occasionaly find dead lizards in our dogs water. My 4 year old is always trying to fish them out! YUCK!!! Yes, we do clean out the dog's bowl after we get the dead lizards out.
ReplyDeleteOh that is a bummer. I found a baby gecko in my washing machine, after the wash cycle. Poor little guy never had a chance.
ReplyDeleteAUGHHH!
ReplyDeletelol I had the same problem when I stayed in Mexico! There was one stuck to the wall the entire time I visited
ReplyDeleteYou know, if you'd left it there, the ants would have had it cleaned up in about a day. :)
ReplyDeleteYoohooo!!! I am fifty!!!
ReplyDeleteNow, geckos life, depends on your doors. If you see - like one geckos trying open the door, please help him!!!
This has been one of the funnier blogs of yours that I have read. With the 'Sorry Dude' and 'Then I just threw him on the roof.' It would have made some good fertalizer for those veges of yours!
ReplyDeleteHe looks so hopeful clinging to the door. They must not be very smart. I would think they could feel the door start to swing and jump out of the way.
ReplyDeleteWhen I visited a friend in Hawaii a few years ago I spent many sleepless nights listening to these little guys chirping on the ceiling. I never thought about going on a door-slamming rampage though. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff, as always. Thanks Jorge!
Poor little geckos, but your commentary is hilarious.
ReplyDeleteSadly, the geckocide rate in Hawaii is higher than anywhere else in the country. Personally, I like the little guys because, as Hoku mentioned, they feed on pests. Though, geckos do tend to drop their grain-sized grumpies wherever they please...kinda gross.
ReplyDeleteYour story makes me miss Hawaii so much. It's kinda Forest Gumpish, you never know what your going to get. Jorge got a tailie!! A partial, no he got the whole thing! Have you done a story on the massive cockroach's. I used to walk with my friends from the beach to Kuhio Ave. to catch the bus and we would see how many we could step on on the way. Disgusting bugs!! Your cracking me up Jorge.
ReplyDeleteI have anoles, geckos, skinks and tree frogs all around my house. We escort them out when we find them alive. I can only assume one of the dogs takes care of any unfortunates that happen to go to the Big Front Porch In The Sky whilst in the house.
ReplyDeleteHeck, we even escort spiders outside when at all feasible. I hate killing things unless completely necessary.
Hey Jorge that skeleton looks like a tiny dinosaur doesn't it? hahahaha you're grrrreat!!!
ReplyDeleteWhen we lived in military housing there, I found two geckos who had been long gone in the doorways--fully painted over!! I love the dear little guys and had one sit near our heads by the window and chirp at us every night. Here it's the cicadas keeping us company--of which you've had your experience with them already. :)
ReplyDeleteHave the same problem with the gecks in Texas. Have to count heads and shoo them off of the doors when we open them. Had to amputate a frogs leg once who got too close. "Tripod" hung around for two summers and forgave us to the point of eating mealy worms out of my hand.
ReplyDeleteLove your posts. I like comparing the places we've both been. Which do you think more beautiful? Hawaii or Ireland?
How much weight have you lost? I almost didn't recognize you in the latest posts!
Hola Jorge!!! perdón por escribir aquí pero quería comentarte que en Argentina un periodista publicó los supuestos números de Lost en una nota sobre tí, diciendo que los mismos eran "13 5 9 20 12 7"
ReplyDeleteRealmente terribleeee!!!!!
Genial tu blog!!!!
I gotta get me a grabby thing on a stick.
ReplyDeleteDude....u r so wrong....
ReplyDeleteYaH! #63!!...you're never going to read this...i've posted here before...but not for awhile...the last post of yours I read was someone pullin a "DuKe" in someone's toilet tank...I miss your humor, DuDe.
ReplyDeleteI was reading "Lost ate my life." ...so I have been over at the Fuselage, lately. Do you ever still post over there?
How wrong is it that I laughed, then called my husband over so we could laugh some more? Our take: Dude, what about when it rains? Little lizard carcasses. Don't throw it on your roof, man.
ReplyDeleteSo, I don't get something. The previous homeowners didn't bother cleaning up their geckos and just left them to rot?
ReplyDeleteNo respect.
They just wanted you to know how much you could be saving on your car insurance.
ReplyDeleteIf you have a lot of geckos, you might also have a lot of cockroaches. I like when I see geckos in the condo because they are taking care of the roaches. On the other hand, I'd prefer to see neither.
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ReplyDeleteIf it dies, blame it on John Locke.
ReplyDeleteThe last time I lived somewhere with copious geckos, my cats liked to leave little gecko-bits on my morning trail from bed to bathroom. Nothing like squishy bits between your toes for a wake-up call.
ReplyDeleteI always hated it when I'd be taking a bath and they'd run across the ceiling, and the heat or something would get to them and they'd fall in. Yeah. That sucked.
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ReplyDeleteI mean... I love gecko creatures... but killing them? Oh no.... :(
ReplyDeleteI love this post.
ReplyDeleteIn my appt in brooklyn we get huge cockroaches, and my impulse, whenever I see something scurry across the room is to STOMP IT! Then on a recent trip to Florida I almost stomped a cute little gecko and felt so bad.
Something about the dried out little bodies in your photos just makes me laugh.
xo-a big fan of yours. =D